Hai, nama gue Ocha, 21 tahun. Mahasiswa semester akhir yang yakin bisa ikut wisuda periode berikutnya. Salah satu syarat ikut wisuda selain skripsi yang udah kelar adalah sertifikat TOEFL. Minimal 480 katanya. Biaya tes TOEFL ITP sudah ditanggung kampus. Mumpung gratis, sekalian aja lah diusahakan dapat nilai yang bagus, 500 ke atas. Biar sertifikatnya bisa dipake ngelamar kerja atau lanjut S2. Untungnya ada temen-temen gue, Rini dan Febri, yg berpikiran sama. Kita sepakat ikut paket tutorial TOEFL privat di pusat bahasa kampus.
Gue, Rini dan Febri kebagian tutor bernama Mrs Lia, ibu-ibu gaul masa kini. Mrs Lia suka bercerita tentang kehidupannya karena karir, usaha dan keluarganya sukses. Punya lembaga kursus bahasa inggris. Anaknya sudah S2 semua, mereka menikah, merantau dan bahagia. Suaminya setia dan romantis. Begitu tau kita bertiga adalah jomblo, segala wejangannya demi mencapai kehidupan bahagia dalam keluarga dan karir langsung dimuntahkan semua. Sampai - sampai nggak kerasa kalau ini sebenernya sesi tutorial TOEFL. Kalau IELTS masih nyambung-nyambung dikit lah ya, conversation dan essay. Maksa 
Ya, kita bertiga adalah jomblo. Gue jomblo konginetal, Rini jomblo kronis dan Febri jomblo akut. Seperti penyakit kronis yang menahun, kejombloan Rini juga sudah menahun. Terakhir dia pacaran akhir SMP sampai awal SMA. Setelah itu penyakit jomblo menghinggapinya. Beda lagi Febri, serangan penyakit jomblonya kerap kali datang secara akut. Mendadak dia jomblo 3 bulan lalu setelah pacaran kurang lebih 1 tahun. Saat ini sih febri mulai punya gebetan. Mungkin dia akan sembuh dari jomblo akutnya beberapa bulan lagi. Ini lah kita, 3 orang jomblo yang jadi sasaran empuk wejangannya Mrs Lia soal relationship.
Sesi wejangan dimulai dengan, "which one do you choose in term of appearance, good boy or bad boy? And why?"
Gue tim good boy. Febri tim bad boy. Rini tim galau. Febri suka badboy karena menurutnya lebih santai dan fun. Gue suka goodboy karena gue good girl hehe, ngaku ngaku 
. Menurut gue good boy lebih bijak dan cerdas. Sementara rini ga bisa memilih dengan alasan yang penting orangnya baik.
Mrs. Lia menyanggah Rini, "Kind is not good as a criteria. Of course we want a kind man, not a criminal. Be more spesicfic. If you really know what you want, you'll save more time and energy as you looking for your soulmate."
Mrs. Lia menambahkan, "for example your mother doesn't want a boy from another ethnic, so don't waste your time on dating them. List of criteria will help you, as a guide before you fall in love too deep. It is better if the criteria more spesific than just 'a kind boy'"
Okee, masuk akal juga pendapatnya Mrs Lia. Tapi orang yg punya banyak kriteria biasanya dibilang pemilih, padahal tidak ada manusia yg sempurna. Belum lagi katanya cinta itu buta, nggak bisa memilih kepada siapa. Lalu apa kabar cinta pandangan pertama? Sempat memilih kriteria?
Mrs Lia paham kebimbangan hati kita, "before you make a list of criteria, you must know your self. What kind of quality you value the most. What you can't tolerate and what you adore that makes you passionate about someone. In simple word, list of your definitely yes, definitely no and special interest. Just make each one 3 criteria. Because you know, no one is perfect. You must have a big heart to tolerate. Now lets think about it, and we'll tell each other in 15 minutes"
Than, these are what I tell them :
Definitely Yes :
1. Faithful Muslim : He doesn't have to be very religious, cuz I'll find it hard to catch up. It is better if he is one step more religious than me. He can help me grow more religious and we can grow as a religious couple together step by step.
2. Fun : He doesn't have to be like a comedian to be fun, just be someone that have something to talk about that release the awkward feeling. It is better if we both can relates to the topic and smile/laugh that release our tired together. We must have something we can enjoy together to be fun. Travel and eat are the best 'something' I can imagine. Of course, He can enjoy different thing too. I like to try something new. I believe everything have some joy worth to try.
3. Loyal : he doesn't have to be rich to show his loyalty. I want someone that support me constantly and undivided with all his might. Make sure I'm at least, his 2nd woman, after his mother.
Definitely No :
1. Cheat / playboy : as I am a congenital single, I can't let my self taken by a cheater or playboy. That will be a very pity of me. I believe cheat is a sick behaviour. Thus, it can't be cured instantly, it need a plenty amount of time and treatment. But, I don't have forever, I need to be happy too.
2. Abuse (physical or emotional) : I can't tolerate an abuse because I have low pain tolerance hehehe. Besides, from what I read and watch, someone who did an abuse than apologize have great chance to do an abuse again. Abuse not only affect me, but also will affect my future children. I value my body and mind. Abuse is a criminal, by the way.
3. Smoke : I know this criteria will excludes many men. But, I really 10x hate to be passive smoker. I want to live a long and healthy life together.
Special interest :
1. Wit : I agree with Rowena Ravenclaw that 'wit beyond measure is men's greatest treasure'. Wit includes large aspect of creativity, problem solving, common sense, etc that makes a man beyond handsome in my eyes, hehehe. It's better if he is from grade A educational institution and from different field of study, like economic, technic, physic, psychology or arts. Thus, I can have an enlighting conversation.
2. Wisdom : May I quotes in Bahasa Indonesia? 'Jatuh cintalah dengan caranya berfikir, sebab di pikirannya lah kamu akan tinggal - anonymous' I want to live in a peaceful open mind that always look for the good and look from many perspective.
3. Dream : affected by Laskar Pelangi and Negeri 5 menara series, I value someone with a big dream so high. How good it is to have someone to share our dream and support each other. Dare to dream big and dare to make it real little by little.
Well, I think that's more than enough, thank you for your attention :)
____________
After I tell them what my dream man looks like, I wonder how amaze I will to meet someone that have everything I've ever wanted right in front of me. The Definitely You. Will I love him? Probably yes. But, will he love me? As I have so many lacks? What I promise to my self is that I'll work for it. For a relationship to start and last.
Hey my definitely you, Find me!! Than I'll definitely be yours as you definitely be mine.
(Loh, ngapain gue ngomong bahasa inggris)
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